20 Witty Answers for the Why-Aren’t- YOU-Married-Yet???! :O

         

EVERY Singleton, specifically in the age range 22-27 can relate to this, I think. You'll be eating cake happily, enjoying Life's Simple Pleasure of licking cream and squishing the cake to your heart's desire because The Parents are busy 'catching up' with 'Other Parents'. Weddings are like 'Logging into Facebook' for Parents. What we are constantly updated on, they have to cram in in an hours time. They ask Other Parents questions about events, children, deaths, jobs, marriages, etc etc...(It's also practical because then you can sit with your friends and talk about Not Safe for Family Hearing topics.) ;) So anyway, you'll be sitting there, reveling in your Fatness at enjoying Free Food and chatting with girlfriends (I don't think Guys say 'boyfriends') at a wedding, and then some RANDOM self-righteous Uncle, or your Dad's-Mum's-Sister's-Aunty's-Nephews Sister-Who Lives Over The Hill and Past The Drainpipe, (who, by the way, you've never ever met) *breatheeeee*,  who thinks its THEIR UTMOST DUTY to change the marital status of every Single Person to Married Person will tap you on the shoulder, puff their chest out, twirl their moustache and DEMAND, DEMAND an answer from you to The Dreaded Question. They probably think they're a real-life Cupid/Cilla Black (from Blind Date) or something. Only, I think they really ARE blind when it comes to match-making. "These two single parts, stick 'em together. YEAH!!!! Jobs a good 'un." (Doesn't matter if they're not compatible at all. We can sort that later.) And you're made to feel like some sort of First Rate Criminal for not having Tied The Knot, even though you're Fly (say Thanks to Allah/God/Fate/what you Believe in) in other aspects of your life. 

The questions buzz around yo' face like an annoying flippin' bluebottle which you CANNOT. JUST. SWAT. AWAY.  I always get this at Weddings. And then living in such a busy city, even when I go to the local grocery shop. I only popped in for some milk and eggs. :( No joke, I have even been asked this question at the most morbid occasion. That's right. At a funeral. A FUNERAL. 
These are my fail-safe answers I am going to shoot out next time I get asked. :P (I think I have the guts) If you have the guts, then COME Single People. Let us join hands and rejoice in these following statements!!!! :P

“Because...”
1.    My Prince will probably fall off of his horse when he sees just how awesome I am. He’s polishing his armour.
2.   I want to marry a Lion. Because I am a Lioness.  
3.   He has to like Harry Potter. 
4.   I can’t cook a 7 layered Biryani.
5.   Because I want a Handsome Hubby, AND a best friend in him, AND a career AND a marriage AND children AND lovely in-laws. Because I want the epic happy Beginning with literal fireworks and balloons. The horror of asking Allah for it All!! He only created the entire UNIVERSE (!!)
6.   I bet most guys can’t make a cup of Ginger Tea.
7.   I’ve grown up crushing on Hrithik since I was 10. Hotness standards are UP THEREEEE!!
8.   Because I want to dye my hair bright red.
9.   I want to climb mountains.
10.  I have my own Mind.
11.  I need to find someone good enough to be my Mahram when we go for Hajj and Umrah. By 'good' I mean proactive and someone who makes me feel safe in a different country. *A "mahram" is a Male Guardian in Islam. A Protector. 
12.  I have wide feet. So Prince Charming is getting my glass slippers custom made.
13. I pull faces.
14. I will possibly model clothes for the business I work for.
15.  I’m educated.
16.  I may study after marriage.
17. Marriage isn’t the ‘Peak’ of your Life. It’s an epic milestone, yes. But in no way the be all and end all.
18. I want to Wife a Man and not Mother a Man. He has a Mother for that.
19. I want someone eloquent and well-cultured.

20.  My cubs deserve a Lion Papa.

My house is "base-camp"; I have been witness to make-ups and break-ups right from when I was a child, because my Pops was a highly-respected, well-educated and advanced Community Man. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being recognised as his Grandaughter. :D :D :D *proud granddaughter moment* In his tribe, in the area I live in, and generally. He got LOTS of Girls married, both literally, financially, AND as a spokesperson. AND he solved family disputes. AND he knew I was spot-on about personalities.Though he never admitted it outwardly, because I spoke some uncomfortable truths to him, that *smirk* and special *twinkle* in his blue eyes spoke volumes. I think I am confident that I WILL choose the Right Man. Someone even my Pops couldn't fault. (Despite the fact that Said Guy impressed his Favorite Grandaughter. It's every 'Father's' prerogative to *growl* at this Man.) I will ABSOLUTELY miss my Pops when I get married; him and I shared an indescribable bond, but I *got* my Pops inside out, and back to front. I promise you Pops, I will choose a Man that won't cause you to to do your 'Amrish Puri' Big-Popping-Angry-Eyes on the Man I Choose. Even though you never really wanted me to get Married, even YOU will say "Ja Shayma Dikra Ja...Jee Le Apni Zindagi..." :P :P 
(Go Shayma Go...Live Your Life!) 


How my Pops would look at My Man. "How DARE you impress my grandaughter with your awesomeness!!!!!!!"
(I forget I was also a son-in-law once.)
*A line taken and adapted from a Bollywood film; Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge when the Super-Strict Conservative Dad realises that this Man makes his Daughter happy.) 

(Only, I ain't running after No Guy. Pshht. Sooooo uncomfortable in heels.) 

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