Mirror mirror, on the wall, who's the Fairest of them all?

Everytime I see the famous FAIR AND LOVELY in a shop, my inner feminist pulls an imaginary angry face at the shopkeeper. *shakes fist*. I HATE the fact that even in the 21st century, such ideals are sought after in the Asian community. So if you're dark, you're ugly? On the one hand, we pride ourselves on being "advanced" because of younger generations having higher aspirations and developing their futures. We are "forward thinking".

It goes beyond my understanding why the heck you'd want to freakin' bleach your face! Well, I suppose, I CAN understand. Ever heard a newborn baby being praised in an Asian family? Or so and so's new daughter-in-law being described? Next time, listen carefully. 'WOW! Such and such's baby/daughter in law is SOO gorgeous. SOOO fair. Looks JUST like a White child/girl. Bright and fair. Like a shining moon. You wouldn't even THINK he/she is an Asian.' WHAT??????!!! Well, 1stly DNA will prove Aunty-ji COMPLETELY wrong.

(Don't even GET me started on the whole Asian whining if someone's Bahu (Daughter-in-law) is darker than her Hubby. How DARE he choose a girl darker than himself??! Actually, of course he dares he, only HE needs to be physically attracted to her, and if she floats his boat, then...) *This may turn into another mini-blog, so I'll just stop.

But, it's the principle that you are not finding beauty within yourself, but to a complete contrast to you. Such comments are so deeply-engrained that they become back-handed comments, rolling off our tongues. Self-racism is horrible. I'm sure we all desire good looks, but what is 'good-looking' to you, may be 'standard' to the next Joe.  Mind-boggling that a pale-skinned individual is this unsaid standard to meet. Beauty is subjective. And everyone is beautiful in their own ways.

And why is Fairer skin still being marketed as something for Asian girls to aspire to? The whole stigma stems from the construction of Indian society centuries ago. Poorer communities would be distinguished because they were dark. Dark because they'd get tanned from manual labour in the sun. The wealthy families could afford servants, so their ladies would stay inside, being pampered by maids. And hence remain fair because they would bathe in milk (also expensive), and were not exposed to the sun. Thus, fairness was an indication of status and wealth. This theory doesn't apply today so much. (It's also funny how the ideal for Asian girls is to be fair, and how a lot of English girls spend money on tanning products. Sad. The "grass is greener on the 'Other' side. Or in this case, the skin colour is more desirable on the 'Other' ladies.)

I dislike this shit with a passion. 

I pray we can concentrate on striving to be fair (in terms of justice), and less so fair (in terms of colour).

That friend who needs you? It's only fair you listen to their stories. The same way they listen to your rubbish. We all have our share of things which annoy us, worry, scare us, make us upset. Every relationship is built on teamwork and strengthening each other. It's give and take.

That team mate who isn't so confident with their upcoming presentation? It's only fair for them to be guided and for their  contribution to be equally valued. There's a general 'in-joke' amongst students that there's always one team-mate who ends up completing the project, and there's always one let-down. During my time volunteering for Charity Week, I really admired the fact that we can be 100% genuine with one another. We are fair. We support one another, yet if we feel like there are times when things don't seem  quite right, we speak up and say 'I don't think that's fair.'

That daughter in law of yours? Only fair that you treat her with the same respect and love as your daughter. She may be your "daughter-in-law", but she is also someone else's daughter. And, Islamically speaking, parents-in-law are considered a second set of parents for a girl. So she IS your daughter. (Teachers are a third set of parents for a person in Islam.)

That person who stood/stands out from the rest for you?  I feel it's only fair they should know you're interested in/want to get to know them, even if they're completely oblivious of this. Consider this. If someone had THEIR eye on YOU, and then got all chatty, and then things worked out, only for you to find they were already interested in you...sounds a bit creepy when the shoe's on the other foot doesn't it? I firmly believe every genuine relationship is built and maintained on honesty. Start as you mean to go on; this person may be your Other Whole one day. 

Also, if things don't work out, walk away with your head held high. Your conscience is clear. It will probably be really hard, because something about them made you respect them/struck you. You found something admirable in them. But they need to be stricken by you too. You're a great, awesome, confident, smart, sassy individual who deserves nothing less than for your Other Whole to genuinely choose you, and only you, back. Every. Single. Day. 

That child who dropped their fork on the floor on the way to lunch? Make an active point to say their cutlery now has 'floor germs' on it and to get a clean fork. This child wouldn't know any better. But you do. Would you let YOUR child eat with dirty cutlery? So why should someone else's child? 

Other people have rights over you.  Rights they don't know even know about sometimes. And its usually individuals who fall in the 'minority' category who don't have their rights fulfilled sadly. But that's the beauty about being 'fair'. You are still 'fair' even if the opposite party is none the wiser, and you could get away with being 'unfair.'

Fulfill these rights. For their sake and your conscience. It's the decent thing to do, So when you question "Mirror mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?", the reflection IS both fair and lovely. 

But this time, in a higher sense. Which is always better than the skin deep beauty.  I hope the Asian community can shift this backwards mentality with regards to colour for a Fairer and Lovelier future. Always...

(Haha, HAD to get a Harry Potter reference in their somehow, course.) <3 


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